Whether you want to sleep in a Mongolian ger, a Serengeti safari camp or a fjordside lodge in Greenland, Francesca Specter – author of Alonement, a book about the joys of spending time solo – explains why room sharing has surprised her around the world.
A few years ago, as I woke up on the last morning of a trip to Mexico, I sensed an unfamiliar shade among my usual end-of-holiday blues. Because it wasn’t just Oaxaca’s moreish memelas, vibrant architecture and sculptural cacti I was saying goodbye to. Looking at the twin bed next to me, I realised one of the things I’d miss most was Emily, a stranger-turned-friend I’d spent the last two weeks sharing a room with.
Initially, my decision to share with a stranger was a cost-saving exercise. Yet, in this case, the less expensive option turned out to be the better one. Knowing what I do now, I’d have paid extra for Emily’s company and companionship. Ever since that Mexico revelation, I’ve surprised myself with how much I’ve not only tolerated but relished sharing a room while travelling. So, here’s what you’ll be missing if you opt to go solo.
1. You keep each other energised
Travel can be overwhelming. When you’re navigating jet lag, physical exertion and the social activity of meeting lots of new people, it can be tempting to retreat to your room and – woops! – stay there all evening. Having someone else in close proximity – likely someone who loves to travel as much as you do – can be a source of energy and novelty.
Emily, for instance, convinced me to do a jet-lagged run around Mexico City’s vibrant Bosque de Chapultepec on the first morning of our trip, followed by a night of Lucha Libre wrestling. These were two trip highlights I’d never have tried were it not for her. Let me tell you, they were much more fun than napping in the room.
2. You try something different
I love the novelty that comes with travelling, from exploring places you’ve never been before to sampling new cuisines. As someone who has lived alone for the best part of a decade, room sharing is another form of novelty. It reminds me of the joyful side of cohabiting that I usually miss out on, such as having someone to debrief with at the end of a long day, or the occasional clothes swap. Even if it goes terribly (a situation I’ve yet to encounter), I tell myself I’ll be more appreciative than ever when I get back to my own room back home.
Read more: Unique places to stay with Intrepid around the world
3. You could adopt healthier habits
Psychologists talk about the ‘proximity effect’ – our tendency to adopt the habits of those closest to us. This phenomenon can have positive and negative results, especially over a long period of time (I certainly adopted some bad takeaway pizza habits during university). However, I’ve found that when sharing a room with a stranger, it’s likely each of you will be on your best behaviour, defaulting to the more virtuous habits.
For instance, if one of you wants to go to bed earlier, the other will too – or at least keep noise to a minimum. This is unfailingly helpful for me, a person who often struggles to set my own bedtime. I still remember a trip to Nice a couple of summers ago, where I was getting nine hours a night thanks to my roommate’s flawless sleep routine.
4. It makes you more sociable – and possibly happier
If you identify as an introvert (or even, like me, as an ambivert), you might worry that you’re not suited to room sharing with a stranger. However, being pushed to be a bit more sociable than usual might actually benefit you. A study found that introverts who challenge themselves to act in a more extroverted way for just a week (which involved being more talkative, assertive and spontaneous) reported increased wellbeing.
Meanwhile, I still regret that I wasted a whole evening in Cartagena, Colombia, alone in my room scrolling Instagram. The irony is not lost on me that it’s the one trip where I paid for the ‘luxury’ of a solo room. Forcing myself to be sociable would definitely have been a better choice.
Read more: Stay with nomadic reindeer herders in Mongolia
5. You pick up life hacks
Sharing a room with someone is like having a front-row seat to see their daily routine and – inevitably – I end up feeling inspired. For instance, during a winter trip to Spain, my Italian friend Ari introduced me to hairdrying my entire body after a shower to warm up faster. During a trip to Vietnam, which involved several jungle hikes, my roommate (a hairstyling pro), taught me how to do French braids, a heatproof hairstyle I still practise years on. Yes, you can pick these things up on TikTok, but it’s so much more memorable when you learn practical skills – not only of the hairdryer-related kind – in real life, directly from another person.
6. You learn the art of compromise
As someone actively seeking a long-term relationship, I consider room-sharing to be a practice round for cohabitation with a future partner. I’ve learnt that compromise can be straightforward, as long as you learn to articulate your needs. Take my temporary panic during a trip to Seville, when my roommate favoured icy-cold aircon temperatures. We quickly came to a compromise: 19˚C, verified by a quick online search as optimum for sleeping.
I’ve also learnt that compromise can bring you closer to someone. For instance, I sometimes fear I won’t get enough time alone when room sharing. Yet, during a recent holiday in the Algarve, my roommate walked in when I was relaxing in a towel post shower. ‘I’m just, er, having some towel time,’ I stuttered, embarrassed. She was more than on board and we enjoyed a comfortable silence together. ‘Towel time’ became shared shorthand for when either of us just needed a moment where we didn’t feel the need to interact. It was a reminder that we all need quiet time and this doesn’t have to involve being exclusively alone; being ‘alone together’ can be even nicer.
7. You might make a travel buddy for life
Room sharing accelerates a friendship in a way that’s hard to otherwise recreate – at least in adulthood. When most friendships are nurtured over coffee or dinners out, there’s a lot to be said for the unrushed, unstructured time together that occurs when you’re sharing a room.
It’s a dynamic that can lead to spontaneous silliness: during a particularly memorable New Year’s Eve, a friend and I sat up in our room singing karaoke to Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start the Fire into the early hours. Or it can lead to deep conversations that make for lasting friendship and future shared travel plans, as it did with Emily and me in Mexico; we went on to explore more of the country together after meeting on that first group trip.
Share your next adventure with other solo travellers on a small-group trip with Intrepid.
