The first documented black woman to visit every country was once nervous about solo travel. Here, she writes words of encouragement to her younger self – and anyone else wanting to give it a try.
I was 23 and working a full-time job at a pharmaceutical company when I arrived at Detroit airport for my first solo transatlantic flight in 2007. Filled with wanderlust to do more and explore the world, I still remember the feeling of excited anticipation and nervousness as I prepared to take my first big-girl trip to Europe alone.
But in an abrupt lesson about the highs and lows of solo travel, my bags missed the flight to London – and arrival in Paris presented more obstacles. I took a train to the city and – though I spoke and understood some French – Parisians made me feel like an unwelcomed alien, staring at me as if I were speaking Icelandic, rather than accented French. Confused and close to tears, I abandoned the Metro for a taxi that I later found out drove me in circles, before depositing me at my hotel. I checked in, opened the minibar and cried into a glass of wine.
But here’s the thing… I survived. That first tentative solo flight changed something in me. It made me realise that no matter how hard things can get, I would always come out on the other side. In losing my bags, navigating a foreign airport and having to make my way to the city on public transport, I gained confidence that I have carried with me for decades.
So, with 20 years of experience now behind me as the first black woman to visit every country in the world, here are some of the lessons I’ve learnt about solo travel that I want to share with my former self, that nervous 23 year old departing on her first independent trip – and any others just like her.
Dear Jessica, Being an inexperienced solo traveller doesn’t have to be a vice; it can be a virtue. On your first proper solo trip to Costa Rica, you’ll feel extremely nervous. You won’t speak Spanish or even know anyone who’s been there. You’ll go on a very last-minute trip, running away to find some quiet. But it will turn out to be an adventure. Even though you have no experience of solo travelling and no clue what to do. You will walk around San Jose with a journal, sitting in parks writing and talking to strangers. And you’ll eventually sign up for a group trip to Arenal, where you will see the active volcano erupt. Your guide will tell you how lucky you are as it’s only his second time seeing it in ten years. You were – and you still are.
Don’t wait for other people to fulfill your travel ambitions; just go. In 2019, you’ll complete your goal of going to every country in the world and of the 195, you’ll do more than 100 solo. At times, you’ll ask friends to travel with you and they will be unable to because of work, family or finances. But you will be glad you carried on anyway, because you won’t want to miss out on the adventure that lies ahead. You will come up with a fun Google Doc telling friends of your whereabouts, that still exists today, letting them know that they are always welcome to join. This will result in a multi-city adventure in Myanmar with two of them and 55 of your closest friends and family celebrating your last country, the Seychelles, among so many other adventures and meet-ups. But all the while you should know that had you waited for them you would have never taken the first step.
As a black woman solo traveller, you’ll be welcomed with open arms, even in countries where you do not see people that look like you. There will certainly be some stares in places like rural Kyrgyzstan or Beijing, but a lot of it is curiosity, and yes a bit of confusion, as you may be the first black person many of them have seen. The bald head and bright red lips don’t help either. You’ll learn that your female intuition will largely keep you safe and that you’ll feel more comfortable in Muslim countries than Western countries, despite what the media tries to portray of these places. So, no matter how bad the racism is at home, just know that you won’t necessarily find that abroad. The world will welcome you.
Countries that many people think of as ‘dangerous’ will surprise you. You’ll travel to Iran on your Ugandan passport, which makes entry a lot easier and you’ll take a week-long road trip with Ali, your driver, guide, photographer and Iranian BFF. You’ll explore Tehran, Esfahan, Yazd and Shiraz, and take in the beauty of Persia, but most importantly you’ll eat in Ali’s home with his family and meet many Iranian people and realise that they are some of the nicest in the world, nothing like what the media portrays. In Pakistan, despite interacting with few women, you’ll traverse Islamabad and Lahore, taking in the glorious history with two photographers who show you the best views and places the country has to offer. These trips will teach you to ignore the media headlines and travel with a curious mind and an open heart.
Strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet. No matter where you land, you are bound to find someone you can bond with, so just book the trip. On your first day in Jordan, you’ll meet you guide Maha, a kind and knowledgeable woman who will come to be like your auntie. Ahmed, the driver will be like your brother, and you will explore Jordan together – from Amman to Petra, Aqaba and the Wadi Rum – trading stories and learning more about your little family. The day that you head to the airport, you’ll stop by Maha’s house to say goodbye and she will take a dress out of her closet, as a memento of your bond. You still have that dress today.
Travelling solo will teach you the kindness of humanity – even at your lowest. In 2017, you will ask a stranger in Khartoum, Sudan, to use a phone to locate a friend at the airport. The US’s embargo against Sudan means that your cellphone won’t work. All around you, all you’ll hear is Arabic as passengers swarm, making their way through immigration to baggage claim. You’ll pull your head scarf a little tighter as you feel anxious. People in a phone shop will serve men behind you first, making you feel frustrated and helpless. But a man at a currency-exchange counter who speaks English will insist that you take the phone and go look for your friend. And that simple gesture will be the first of many kindnesses you receive in that country – a tiny drop in the well of kindness that will be bestowed on you all around the world.
Make room for spontaneity – as scary as it might seem. In 2019 in Guinea-Bissau, you’ll take an improvised road trip – at night – with two complete strangers to the neighbouring country of Guinea. This will come about over dinner with a friend’s brother and cousin, as you pour over a map, realising that the next-door country you planned to visit in a month’s time, is actually so close, it seems silly to wait. You’ll propose a road trip to cover the five-hour journey. And they will say we should go ‘tout suite’. Your little trio will pay for dinner, grab some clothes and money, and hit the road in the pitch black of the night. When you arrive at the village where the border is, you’ll negotiate with the immigration agent to let you across – and he too will join your crazy adventure. He will hop in the car and you will all head off to explore the village on the other side of the border. This spontaneous trip will save you from having to fly back to the region a month later, but it will also show you the magic of living in the moment, which appears only when you leave yourself open to adventure.
Bad things will happen. But you’ll realise most people are good. On your first night in Johannesburg, you’ll go to a house party of Grammy-nominated Nigerian-American rapper Jidenna. You’ll arrive at the sprawling home, grab a gin and tonic, and spend the night unexpectedly mingling with a beautiful international crowd. But the next morning, you’ll realise you can’t find your wallet. Panicking, you will text friends and no one will have it. But, like magic, the phone to your room will ring with a voice from the front desk informing you that someone is there with your wallet: your taxi driver from the previous night. In a city with high rates of poverty and crime, this will emerge as one of the earliest travel memories to tell you that most people are good.
You’ll discover we are more similar than we are different. We all want the same things, we all experience the same emotions and we all strive for the same goals. Solo travel will force you to rely on the kindness of strangers in countries where you do not speak the language. By relying on those strangers you’ll learn about their culture and fall in love with the new tastes, sights and sounds. In doing so, solo travel will not only make you more courageous and confident, it will affirm a deep faith in humanity – and what a miracle it is to exist in this time and space.
Set off on your own adventure by travelling solo on a small-group trip with Intrepid.
Image credits: photography by Seyni Ba, Elton Anderson, Karston Tannis, Justin Millhouse, Alex Parker and Brian Siambi.
