{"id":23556,"date":"2017-11-22T11:01:30","date_gmt":"2017-11-22T00:01:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.intrepidtravel.com\/adventures\/?p=23556"},"modified":"2024-09-20T23:55:12","modified_gmt":"2024-09-20T13:55:12","slug":"solo-travel-spouse-importance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.intrepidtravel.com\/adventures\/solo-travel-spouse-importance\/","title":{"rendered":"Why I love solo travel, even though I have a spouse"},"content":{"rendered":"

My first real solo trip was a four-month internship and backpacking experience in Chile. I went into the trip as the brazen, foolhardy 22-year-old that I was. I felt like I could conquer anything!<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n

Then the initial reality of solo travel set it. It was lonely and challenging. Honestly, I didn\u2019t love it at first. I became tired of sitting alone at restaurants. I missed my boyfriend. <\/span><\/p>\n

But then, slowly, I started to like it. My Spanish got better. I made new friends. I learned valuable lessons as a young adult. I became a better version of myself.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Solo<\/a>

My first solo trip, in Chile<\/p><\/div>\n

Now, solo travel is one of my favorite ways to see the world. I value what the experience does for me and I actively choose to pursue it. This feeling certainly didn\u2019t change in 2016 when I put a wedding ring on my finger.<\/span><\/p>\n

My story of solo travel<\/b><\/h3>\n

I dated my now-husband Sam for 11 years before we got married, during which I travelled solo often. On my own, I backpacked in South America, spent four months in the Middle East and Asia, and took trips around the US. I\u2019ve also travelled to Cuba<\/a><\/strong>, Jordan <\/a><\/strong>and Egypt <\/a><\/strong>on Intrepid trips as a solo female traveller. <\/span><\/p>\n

Only now with this new title of <\/span>wife<\/span><\/i> have I noticed the different, and often negative, opinions people have about my desire to continue travelling alone. Acquaintances will ask me things like, \u201cIs Sam ok with you traveling?\u201d or \u201cDon\u2019t you get lonely without your husband?\u201d or even \u201cDid you ask your husband permission before travelling?\u201d It is as if marriage = merged.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Solo<\/a>

My honeymoon in Portugal<\/p><\/div>\n

That couldn\u2019t be further from how I view my marriage. <\/span><\/p>\n

For me, relationships were never about \u201cfinding my better half\u201d or becoming a single joined entity. The successful marriages I\u2019ve witnessed actually thrive on two people being autonomous but complementary. They make each other better versions of who <\/span>they already are<\/span><\/i>. They benefit from the individuality that they each retain in their relationship. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

One of the things I value most about my marriage is that my husband supports and encourages me to continue travelling, both with him but also on my own. He understands that travelling is a part of who I am, and I celebrate that aspect of myself too. I would never allow marriage to suppress my love for travel.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Solo

Exploring Egypt with Intrepid Travel<\/p><\/div>\n

I need to explore the world solo sometimes and there are five key things that I value most about travelling alone. <\/span><\/p>\n

Personal growth<\/b><\/h3>\n

Travel has this amazing ability to create personal growth. I think it\u2019s one of the things travellers value most. I wouldn\u2019t be the person that I am today without the confidence and perspective that I\u2019ve gained from travelling. I remember a specific moment in Chile when I was on top of a mountain (I’m aware this sounds clich\u00e9d) and a realisation dawned on me \u2013 \u201cMegan, you\u2019ve got this. It\u2019s all going to be okay.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

Unfortunately, that growth isn\u2019t as significant when you travel with someone. You are more likely to stifle or not notice the changes travel creates. The challenges are less challenging but the rewards are less rewarding. <\/span><\/p>\n

Travelling alone forces you to depend on yourself. You have to be resourceful and creative in the face of challenges.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Flying solo on an Intrepid tour to Cuba<\/p><\/div>\n

When I accomplish something like a complex conversation in the Spanish with a Cuban woman or navigate a chaotic change in plans midway through a multi-leg trip through Asia on my own, there is such a sense of pride, joy and accomplishment that swells inside me. That triumph is no one else\u2019s but mine.<\/span><\/p>\n

SUBSCRIBE TO INTREPID’S NEWSLETTER FOR TRAVEL TIPS, COMPETITIONS, GIVEAWAYS & MORE<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

Experiencing a destination differently <\/b><\/h3>\n

When you travel as a couple, people treat you differently. You\u2019ll find that previously social spaces may be more stand-offish. I experienced this at a hostel with my husband during a trip to Istanbul. We did our best to interact with other guests, but found that when people saw the two of us eating breakfast together or about to leave for a walk, they wouldn\u2019t ask to join or tag along. They saw us as a couple and assumed we wanted alone time. <\/span><\/p>\n

When you travel alone, you\u2019ll experience a different side of that destination. Solo travel can feel scary at times. In South America, I felt out of my comfort zone, and I was always hyper-aware of my surroundings. I planned bus routes that dropped off during the daytime and always called the hostel reception before arrival to make sure I wouldn\u2019t be stranded for a night.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Solo<\/a>That kind of trepidation is normal, but solo travel can also open the door to unique experiences. I’ll always remember the time I was invited into a local home in Ghana and long conversations over tea in a Jordanian rug shop, that might not have happened to me with my husband by my side.<\/span><\/p>\n

Making new friends<\/b><\/h3>\n

When you travel solo, there are lonely moments and you don\u2019t have the security blanket of someone to chat with. I can\u2019t tell you how many times I have just randomly cried in public\u2026 it happens! To fulfill the natural instinct to socialise, you will be forced to interact with new people more openly than if you were with another person. <\/span><\/p>\n

This is especially true in group travel situations. Every time I\u2019ve participated in an Intrepid group trip, I\u2019ve done so solo. If I had gone on those trips with my spouse, I would have roomed with him, sat with him at meals and explored with him. Instead, I did that with other people and it led to new friendships which I still keep up with to this day!<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Solo<\/a>

My Intrepid group in Petra<\/p><\/div>\n

Alone time <\/b><\/h3>\n

Having a spouse is undoubtedly amazing companionship, but sometimes you just need some alone time. It can be challenging to create separation but regardless of how wonderful one\u2019s relationship is, alone time is critical. I believe that maintaining \u201capart time\u201d is key to staying together long-term.<\/span><\/p>\n

My husband and I have had several bouts of long-distance, sometimes with months of separation. While it was challenging at first, it gets easier each trip. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder! On my four-month backpacking trip, I found that the separation made our relationship significantly stronger because we learned how to communicate better and were more grateful for our time together. <\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s an adventure! <\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

I think one of the key differences between solo and coupled travel is that you are inherently more vulnerable and open to chance encounters and interactions when you\u2019re alone. There is more adventure! You are beholden to only yourself. You can make each day what you want it to be.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Solo<\/a>

My first solo trip, in Chile<\/p><\/div>\n

Some of my favorite travel memories are the random moments when I said yes to a new experience \u2013 hanging out with a group of Argentinians, staying in a traditional Nepali farmhouse \u2013 and while I have cherished travel memories with my husband, I know that I may not have had those other random moments if I was travelling with him.<\/span><\/p>\n

I understand that every relationship is different, but for my marriage, travelling alone makes me a stronger, better and happier partner. This is why I will not be giving up solo travel any time soon. Try it, and you might feel the same.<\/span><\/p>\n

Read to take on the world solo? Try an Intrepid small group adventure!<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

(All images c\/o Megan Arzbaecher.)<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I understand that every relationship is different, but for my marriage, solo travel makes me a stronger, better and happier partner.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15920,"featured_media":35295,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[286],"tags":[338,456,866,283],"class_list":["post-23556","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories","tag-intrepid-traveller","tag-intrepid-trip","tag-love","tag-solo-travel"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhy I love solo travel, even though I have a spouse | Intrepid Travel Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Solo travel forces you to be resourceful and creative in the face of challenges. 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